You Might Be Surprised...

fitzstar @ 2005-03-31T13:52:00

2005-03-31T19:52:34Z

For so long this life had been a tool of devotion. Obsessive qualities took over the entire existence. Deviating from the one thing being attended to at the present time was never allowed. Enjoying meant loving, and loving meant obsessing; once bitten, forever smitten. For that reason this particular past reads more like a history book than a biography. There was a theatre era, a pet shop era, an “Our Lady Peace” era, and a Beri era. This list could go on to include many other various bands, authors, people and places that had been loved with equal intensity, but to list them all would be entirely too tedious of a task. Yet, this seemingly disagreeable trait allowed for such deep immersion that love was found on a whole different plane. Having learned to love with such a passion had led to an understanding of appreciation rarely acquired by normal men. The easier it became to love, the easier it was to appreciate, and once appreciated fully there was no need to dwell. So, move on to the next thing, and start the cycle again.
The cycles are quite infrequent these days. Occasionally on obsession rears its ugly head, but more often the desire is quelled and forgotten. However, the appreciation and understanding are ever present things and many thanks are to be given for that fact. Life is no more than captured moments in time, this is known now. There is only one opportunity to experience fully that moment, and once missed the moment is gone. Learn now to appreciate everything you have around you. Do not ignore the fine points, or undermine the grand scheme. March down the high road, and slum through the low. Above all else, enjoy life and never cease believing. Always know that I appreciate you.

fitzstar @ 2005-03-04T09:04:00

2005-03-04T15:04:38Z

Change. A wise man once said, "Forget death and taxes, the only thing you can be sure of in life is change." This statement couldn't be closer to the truth. Think of your life without change, if things had always stayed the same. It's hard to imagine not having made all those tough decisions that seemed so impossible at the time, but now appear to be the best thing that could have happened. It's a fact of life... everyone will, at some point, face tough times. And if you've never been in a predicament, then good luck to you out in the real world.

Now, there's a chance that it may never be the same. A decision has been made that, most likely, will not be rescinded. The time had come to break away, to stop playing a yo-yo game, and move on for real. Of course, there couldn't be a better way to do it then in a blur of homemade necklaces and familiar music. Though hitting the ground wasn't in the plan, it helped in being catapulted to the level that was attained.

I wouldn't ask it to happen any other way. It needed to be taken care of, and for years I'd been living in the past while trying to forge a future. Anyone that's tried that trick will know what I mean. I'm sad... to say I wasn't would be lying to myself, but I'm happy, and hoping that it will stick. Though, with the support I have this time around, it's hard to believe that failure is even an option.

Infallible. Now that's what the fuck I'm talking about.

fitzstar @ 2005-02-28T21:52:00

2005-03-01T03:52:27Z

Like a raspberry tart, it tastes so sweet, but the seeds will stick in the teeth for hours. No, it wouldn't change the world, nor would it make a difference at all, but they all poured their energies into it anyway. From Creationism to a Neo-Persian empire, the discourse was intriguing to say the least. There wasn't a point to be made, or a position to be defended... Just a handful of outspoken people packed into a modern looking living room where lights illuminate the point at which the ceiling meets the wall. It was in that place that the oddity occurred. Not that it was too out of the ordinary, but for some reason, on that night, it stood out like a green hat with an orange bill.

It isn't to say that this had never happened before, more like it had never happened in quite the same way. The motive is generally simple: research and development. Rarely is anything of true value literally attained, but on this night the conversation went places that only obscure Hollywood directors could come up with. Not to be taken aback by the heavy atmosphere that seemed to hang around the words as they floated in the air, the focus quickly shifted to an almost far off glint of light in the corner of the room. And like idolaters worshiping a golden calf, the attention was not to be broken until much later that week.

Coming out of the haze isn't the worst part, but convincing one's self that returning to said state would not be in the vested interest of the mind and soul is at best a chore. Toying with ideas of world domination and altering religions is a risky business, not to mention a serious career mistake. You must heed these words - The world has a way. You may not understand the circumstances, or, worse, you may not agree with the decisions your forced to make. However, tampering with the course of time is a task that should be left to the crazy and physics inclined. When a wave breaks you can ride it out or hold on and crash all the same.

I crashed... but the ground has never tasted so sweet.

A Changing of Scenery...

2005-02-24T21:54:30Z

You can expect to see a serious change in tempo, mood, and content in this space in the near future. The verbatim listing of everyday occurrences and life's happenings will no longer be aired in this forum. However, this is in now way to state that I will be silent. Only to present a disclaimer to the reader that from this day forth discretion is advised.

Essentially, the public airing of my dirty laundry no longer interests me, but I've still got a lot to say. As for know, I have to work, but expect to see more in the very new future.

Raisin Bran Crunch and Dr. Pepper!!

2004-10-07T17:36:37Z

The Breakfast of Champions!!

The complete and total lack of maturity found in most people my age is absolutely astounding. Seriously, how can anyone go through 20+ years of life and still have no clue whatsoever? Blame it on parents who lead their children without allowing them any free thought. Blame it on the overdosed, anti-depressant, ADD culture. Blame it on whatever the hell you want, I for one am tired of it.

Now, that's not to say that all twenty-somethings are like this. Many people, mostly kids who have come up through the system or know what it's like to be impoverished, still have good heads on their shoulders. I try to surround myself with people like this, but more often then not I find it's just a facade put on to make others think they've got life under control.

Moreover, who overlooked some of this 9/11 bullshit. I don't know html well enough to insert the websites here, but go to Google and do a search for "9/11+Truth". Just look at some of the crazy stuff that comes up. It's mind blowing that no steel building has ever fallen down, or been destroyed by fire, before. Not to mention the mounds of evidence showing that a plane did not hit the Pentagon. Check some of that stuff out... it's nuts.

Forced Progress

2004-02-19T21:38:11Z

A quote:

"Sometimes it seems unfair that events so old can reach forward through the years, sinking claws into one's life and twisting all that follows it. Yet perhaps that is the ultimate justice: we are the sum of all we have done added to the sum of all that has been done to us. There is no escaping that, not for any of us."

Rough Draft...

2003-09-04T18:31:26Z

I've had this line going through my head for about a week now, so yesterday I decided to try and write with it... Here's what I came up with:

Not lost...
Just can't find my way
Now that I left...
I wish I'd have stayed

Less truth exists...
With every story told
How many times...
Can a heart be bought and sold?

Changing of hands...
Like a coin in the till
World keeps turning...
But my soul remains still

Hide and seek...
Life's little game we play
Not lost...
Just can't find my way